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Which Disney Villain are you?
I really like chocolate eggs. ;-D
I like full house re runs .... 8o)
Especially kimmys outfits! hottt :-O OHHH//
I like thursdays NOTTTT the band. >:-(!
anddd not showering :-S
I got a new shirt :-D!
I have been wearing it for the past 3 days >:-S
Someone buy me a new shirt and maybe I'll change this one <:-)!
EHHh gd ok!!!!!!!!!!1 O_o
I saw the sign I opened up my eyes I saw the sign :0)
DONT GO BREAKIN MY HEART....I COULDNT IF I TRIED... OHHHH NO BODY KNOWS IT. WHEN I WAS DOWN. I WAS YOUR CLOWN. DUN DUN DUN DUN DA DA DUN A BOP BOP DUHHH!!!!
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
I'm so anime right now
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Comments: 1 fault - i fucked up again.
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Sunday, August 31st, 2003
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| Time: | 12:42 pm. |
| Mood: |  cranky. |
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I got into this fight. I pretty much beat the shit outta the guy until he hit me with a steal pipe. But I'm cool now.
I work way to fuckin much. I can't sleep anymore. It sucks.
Yeah I'm gona go to sleep now. Later kids.
- Tom
p.s - does anyone have any pictures of me ? I need an icon. IM me if you do.
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Comments: 1 fault - i fucked up again.
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The past week and few days have been horrible. Patrice not answering my calls. Ignoreing me. Today she finally called to forgive me. I'm sucha fuck up sometimes. I asked her out ot dinner but she had to work so tomorrow it will be.
My heart sealed right up when she said she forgave me. I've been down as fuck for days and days. I drank by myself more heavily. I feel sooo much better now.
Vernons bud Ray is haveing some party tonight. I think I might hit it up in a few. See old bitches and hoes. Prob be a lot of people from my old highschool. It'll probably suck so I'll leave early.
Yeah I need a haircut. like really bad. It's like to the point I have to actually brush it.
I see a new tattoo in my future. Like next week.
I'm gona go.
You fucking whores have fun.
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Comments: 3 faults - i fucked up again.
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Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
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I keep screwing up.
I'm horrible at relationships.
My cat ran away.
I still don't have cereal.
What a bad day.
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Comments: 3 faults - i fucked up again.
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I always fuck things up. These are the things I'm pissed off about.
1. Patrice is mad at me. I tried calling her 5 times today and all I got was her fucking answering machine. I left a few messages hopeing she'll just call back, even if it's just to bitch at me. fucking girls.
2. Vernons away on vacation, so theirs no one to drink my life away with.
3. My sister and her fucking husband came by today. They tried to get me to decorate my place and my sister showed me how to make cupcakes from strach. Like I'll actually do that again cunt.
4. I ran outta fucking Pop's cereal.
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Comments: 2 faults - i fucked up again.
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| Time: | 9:35 am. |
| Mood: |  cheerful. |
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Last night owned. Mad fun.
Woke up with fucking black bruises all over my arm.
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Comments: 2 faults - i fucked up again.
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Wednesday, July 9th, 2003
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My birthday fuckin owned. Not going into detail. Let your imaginations flow. I was awake for about 2 1/2 days.
I'm working so fucking much these past through days and people have been nothing but bitches. Fucking cheap asses.
I hurt my back a few days ago so I took off a day and the next day was the worst since it still was killing me. I almost dropped all the food on this one lady. That would've gotten me fired fo sure.
I should take a shower. I haven't like 2 days.
I went to Stop and Shop yesterday (place i used to work) and those highschool stalker girls where there and I ended up haveing an hour long convo with them. I just wanted to punch them in the face and run the fuck outta there.
The steering on my car is fucked up. So Vernons giveing me a lift until i get that bitch fixed. My sisters husband offered to give me a lift but theres no fucking way I'm dealing with him even if it's only for 20 minutes.
I don't get how this guy is straight. I don't have a problem with gay people, fuck half my friends are biand shit. He's so completely femine it annoys the shit outta me. He reminds me of the really gay guy on will and grace, sorta looks like him too. He took me shopping like 3 weeks ago since I'm "not fashionable enough" and the clothes he picked out were the funniest thing ever. I really love that lavender shirt with the white strips on the bottom. I had to listen to his corny ass inside jokes he has with his dezigner friends. please please please someone come stab me in the chest.
My sisters always going "oh you two, such bff, so cute" Shut yo mouth cunt.
Fuck I have so much to do. Remind me to kill myself or to reat myself to a vacation after it all.
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Comments: 6 faults - i fucked up again.
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| Time: | 6:41 pm. |
| Mood: | almost legal. |
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Since I'll be out all tomorrow I thought I'd wish myself a early happy birthday.
So Tom. Happy birthday. The big 2-1, huh! Have fun being able to buy alcohol. Your going to have a bad hangover on July 5th, just you wait.
Happy 4th of July people too.
with everlasting love,
tom
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Comments: 4 faults - i fucked up again.
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I tripped down the stairs and hurt my foot.
I'm wearing polka dotted shorts
My shoes have sex written all over them.
It was nice out so I sat on the pavement with Angie and colored with chalk.
The other day I was sitting outside on my steps and heard the icecream truck. I decided I could really go for some icecream. So I'm standing in line with all these little kids when I realized I was wearing that shirt I made a while back that says words like "Fuck" and "cunt". So I took the longest walk back to my apartment passing angry parents and old ladies being shocked. and I was like "FUCKKK".
People in my complex must think I'm the biggest perv ever. I still get weird looks from the last time I made a scene when I was drunk. dammit.
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Comments: 3 faults - i fucked up again.
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So I watched this porn movie and it was really weird. It was even to weird for Vernon who is the biggest porn freak ever.
The other night we watched this strange anime porn. haha yeah.
I quit my job at Stop and Shop because the hours were starting to suck and people were creeping me the fuck out.
I really like vanilla coke. Its the most wonderful thing in the world.
My sister and her fag hubby came over the other day. She cut her hair short and looks fucking 30 now. Her husband kept telling me these corny as fuck jokes.
I enjoy food shopping.
I have to go to Patrice's cousins wedding this weekend. still need someone to watch angie and the cats since we have to stay over night at a hotel.
im so fucking ghetto fab.
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Comments: 2 faults - i fucked up again.
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Saturday, March 15th, 2003
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Wow what a wonderful day. Tomorrows going to be 60. I thought I make a post about this wonderful day. I've been so used to 10 degree weather. Its just amazing. You can tell Its been a bad winter when I'm excited about 50 degrees.Today I am going to rock the shorts and play frisbee. The snow is melting finally.
Last night Patrice, her friend Donna-D, Vernon, and Zac went to Ronalds party he threw. We stayed for about an hour and a half. Vernon scored with some hot red head. Which happens to be the same red head that Zac hooked up with last weekend. So there was a bit on coniversy there. Vernon is a whore. I'd do him myself.
After that we hit my place and watched this weird porn movie. These runaway aliens from outter space came to earth and took home 3 human bodies which happen to be all blonde girls with huge breasts. It had a lot of lesbian action. My favorite part was when they were in the strip club and the alien was watching this stipper dance on stage. And they started makeing out and then starting feeling each other up on the pole. And the stripper went down on the alien girl and it was her first true orgasm. It was an amazing site. Her so called first orgasm made up for her bad acting.
But after the mothership found where they were and arrested them and brought them back to their planet. It all went bad because They tried to show the aliens how to have an orgasm and they banished it. So the aliens ran away to earth again so they can pursue a career as prostitutes.
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Comments: 2 faults - i fucked up again.
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Thursday, February 27th, 2003
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First im i've updateing 3 days in a row. damn. Im starting to be a real Live journal whore.
So after my last entry I wrote the note. Crumpled it up and threw it out because I didnt like the way I worded it. Walked around for a bit then sat down and wrote again. I'm not really too good with writeing to a person about how i really feel about them. Every word just sounded stupid and corny. I took some stuff i wrote in yesterdays entry and included it in the note. because it was true. IT took like a good hour writeing it. Im sucha loser.
Took a shower. 2 showers in a day. I MUST care for her if i do that. I did my hair too. MY hair bothers the fuck outta me. It flips up in certien places and its always in the way and in my face. I wore a nice green shirt. I looked hot i must say.
Drove to the mall to meet up with Greg and Vernon. I showed Vernon the letter and he laughed but then he said "its going to win her over".
Vernon is the most good looking guy I know. So he knows girls too well.
I was too much of a douche to give it to her myself. so Vernon was the man who went to Patrices' work which is some sort of make up store and gave it to her.
In the mean time i was acting like the usual asshole i am when im out. Screaming. Danceing. I stripped dance for some 14 year old GC lovin girls. They gave me $2 so i bought Patrice some sour candy. Hopeing.
It was a good hour until i saw her walking past Macys. This is when i felt my heart beating fast. I started to sweat. I just stopped dead in my tracks stareing.
It felt like a movie scene. Everything got all slow. And blurry. I could hear my self breath slowly. She walked over to me and we made out in the middle of the mall. Right by the water fountain
AFter that we spent a good 10 minutes there just smileing.
So yeah thats my romantic mall story.
oh tom.
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Comments: 6 faults - i fucked up again.
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Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
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Being a waiter at a pretty popular restraunt has its advantages. First off you get to meet interesting people of all different sorts. Sure there are certien old ladys who bitch at you for being busy. And the group of FCUK wearing guys who are too cool to leave a tip. But in the end, its the best job i've had yet. I like interacting with people and most people seem to like me. Which means... a nice tip.
But there are those days that your ex-girlfriend randomly decides to go to that restraunt. The one she knew you worked at but when saw my face all of a sudden "didn't know HE worked there".
I was haveing a pretty good day. I got a nice brunette girls phone number named Ashley. But when Melissa comes it. I t just turns the day around. Especially when she walks in with a new guy. If that guy wasn't there I've would of been an asshole towards her. But that guy, even though I'm taller than him. He could seriously kick my ass to the curb.
One thing that annoys me about Melissa is that shes a poser. When I was with her. We went to punk shows. Now shes wearing the preppiest clothes i've ever seen. And her boyfriend i would think was gay if she didnt tell me that they were going together.
To contuine... It just so happeneds that she sits at one of my tables. I tried to get my friend Ant to take that table, but he was way busy. Walking up there was the hardest. There was the girl 5 feet away who i gave me heart to. Which she took my heart and held it in her hand. And squeezed it till I gave in. And stepped on it like it was a ciggerette. She was one of the two girls that i told everything to. She knows all my secrets. She knows whats in my head. Which why it ended in such a bad way. She knew me better than i did. So she could twist my thoughts around her finger.
She didnt look too thrilled to see me. But I knew what she was thinking. Showing off that shes found someone. Stronger and better and named Paul. When i was takeing their order all they did was kiss and hug and call each other corny couples names.
Then she asked an answer she all ready knew in her head. But had to ask it just to embarrass me.
"So tom hows your girlfriend"
"I dont have one"
"Oh wow. Its been almost a year and you still haven't moved on!"
Then her boyfriend turns his thick neck and looks at her.
"wait a minute. you went out with HIM?"
"dont remind me. sigh. it was last year. I dont know where my head was at. I was lost baby... lost with out you" she replies with a kiss.
Than her boyfriend gave me a evil look. A look saying "how dare you break her heart".
She was not the one with a broken heart. I was. She cheated on me 3 times in one night. And thats just one night. She called my mom and threatened her. In school she stalked my sister and threatened her. Also the endless lies.
So a half hour later it was over. Look at the table. and there wasn't even a tip.
After that i took my break. I needed to clear my head. I walked across to the mall. And stood outside the Arcade, my youth hangout, and smoked a ciggerette. I frooze there only with a light jacket. I saw Patrice walk to her job in the mall. She came up to me bfore she went to work. She told me that..
"everything will be ok. it will all work out in the end. Tom you are wonderful. Just tell yourself that. Because that is the truth"
She kissed me on the cheek and smiled. Than walked away.
I wish she was my girlfriend. She knows me well. She can just tell from the way im standing and the sound of my voice that somethings wrong. Her smile makes all the problems in the world go away. Her redlipstick, her green eyes, and the way her blonde hair gets in her face when the wind blows; make me feel like im in heaven. Shes too gorgeous for me , tom.
I remember one night when she was drunk and i want sober. She tried to kiss me. But i knew it was wrong if i did. Because that would be takeing advatage of her. If it was any other girl. yes i would. But it was Patrice and i just couldnt. But maybe she wanted to. Because when im drunk i do everything that i want to. I have no fears. So maybe she did secretly want me. I secertly want her.
Again continueing with my story... I began to walk back from my break. And i thought that i should write her a letter confessing how i do feel. I havent wrote it yet. Im going to do it after i finish with this. But what ever happens .. happens.
But im hopeing for the best.
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Comments: 8 faults - i fucked up again.
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Tuesday, February 25th, 2003
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Remind me again why I haven't kill myself yet. Life has been getting lower and lower. It just doesn't stop or rewind. Everyday Its the same heartbreak over again. I can wake up and say this is the worst day of my life. But then tomarrow will be the worst day of my life. And so on.
I wake up not even want to continue. I dont want to make coffee. I dont want to feel or see. I wish i could stop breathing and die. Than wake up 10 years from now where hopefully I'll be happy. But, I doubt it, highly.
I fake wanting to see people. I fake haveing a good time. I just get drunk and the next morning I wake up on the bathroom floor covered in puke. I only remember pieces of what happened the night before. I'm not sure if they are a dream or something that really happened. I wake up with cuts on my lip and arm. I makes me go mad. I can't take it anymore. I know I should stop. Believe me its all I think about. But I've tried sitting at home. I end up unaccoplished watching conan re runs and howard stern. I'm living in a real world twisted with fantasy.
After trying to get up for about a half hour. I wash my face and away I go to learn. Always late. Where I dont remember most of it. This happeneds almost everyday. I drink my life away.
I go on dates. But everytime. The girl finds a fault. "your too busy for me".. "your not my type"... even stupid things like "i dont like the way you dress". death to me. Why should I hsve to deal with such girls. Girls whom all they care about is how much money you have and how good you are in bed. Is it THAT hard to find a nice girl. Someone whom I'm attractd to. Believe me most of the time i dont go for the pretty blonde skinny girls. I seem to be attracted to fucking dirty ass ho's you break my heart and run off with my alarm clocks (Nancy).
Ever since i got my hair cut, my lifes been shit. The fucking ghetto lady who cut my hair must of cursed me to forever being miserable.
right now i hate people. I have my friends. I hate girls. I hate vaginas. The only thing i like is my cats and extra buttered popcorn. But extra buttered pop corn only lasts so long. And i only see my cats a few hours a day.I need something that i can make me happy. Maybe its a someone. I can be delighted for a few minutes. and t hat makes my whole day. I try to reflect on that all day. It just makes me smile. Yes i must look like a dumbass standing in the middle of the restraunt smileing. But for that moment. I am happy. I am happy where I am. But then I realize WHO i AM and where I ACTUALLY am.
I am Tom Contreal. I'm a 6'3 loser with a bad hair cut. I am terrible at relationships. I am horrible at remembering peoples names and rembering to call them at 8:00. I enjoy watching movies by myself. I enjoy pretending I am someone else. That I am happy. And that will make me happy. Atleast for a minute or two.
Until i realize i am Tom Contreal. The same dumbass from 2 minutes ago. Standing there. I havent changed. Just embarressed myself in front of a table of beautiful girls. Who giggle. I serve. I go home. I eat. Get drunk. Wake up. Then i put a gun to my head. Wanting to end it. But can't. Theres too much to live for now. I've been through many difficult times and pasted through them. So why stop now. Why end it here... in my shower? It would be only doing what many expected me to do. And why should I do what they think.
So ends the worst day of my life.
And im looking forward to tomarrow.. the future worst day of my life.
love always.
tom
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Comments: 5 faults - i fucked up again.
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Friday, January 24th, 2003
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funniest thing go here yeah i watched that 10 times.
Today i cleaned. vacumed. even made my bed. big improvement. i dont know why i bother. its only going to get dirty again tomarrow.
Tonight im going to a show. Just like old times. Hit on some 14 year old girls. My friends, Mike and Sams, band playing. got to support them. I miss being on stage. I quite my band there was just too much going on at the time.
Tuesday im going to another show in NYC. should be fun.
It was 9 degrees out today. thats fucked up. Im moving to hawaii. I've had it. Spring needs to come. NOW.
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Comments: 2 faults - i fucked up again.
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Tuesday, January 21st, 2003
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Random Facts about Tom.
1. My real name is Armaanpree
2. My fav soda is orange soda.
3. I have shaggy black hair
4. I had a fro for 2 years.
5. Red is my favorite color
6. I HATE hamspters
7. My sister had a hampster named the Avenger
and my cat ate it. and i was glad.
8. I do own a pink bra.
9. i have lepord print shoelaces
10. In a current survey 64% of the girls and the 3 guys i asked
would NOT going out with me.
11. but an whopping 28% said they'd CONCIDER going on a date with me
12. i work at The Heartstone as a waiter.
13. i used to smoke 2 packs a day
14. Im quitting
15. Now i smoke 3 a day.
16. I own red shoes.
17. I was a total loser in highschool. it was just senior
year when i became cool.
18. it was only because of the fro.
19. college happend. and i was no longer the mashed potato.
20. my cabinet is filled with green cups.
21. i cant type for my life
22. i cant spell for my life.
23. Might find it hard to belive, but i was voted "best smile"
senior year.
24. im wearing tight jeans
25. i have a fan club called "the tom fan club".
26. i have two different shades of green eyes.
27. i have currently 4 cats.
27. i used to be a whore.
28. now i cant get shit.
29. i own a purple fuzzy rug called "bloopy"(angie named it)
30. im afriad of bridges.
31. im still in love with jill.
32. my pillowcases are flowered print
33. i dont belive in god.
34. apple juice tastes better in the juice can than in a glass.
35. i watch the discovery channel
36. i drool.
37. i used to have this HUGE crush on sara michelle geller.
38. I watched/taped Buffy every week.
39. tomarrow im going to wear marroon pants.
40. i have scars on my arms from other days.
41. my mom is dead.
42. my dad sucks.
43. he held a gun to my head.
44. i have 2 sisters.
45. i hate jet black shaggy hair.
46. i probably repeated like 10 things already.
47. i've realized girls are the route of evil.
48. i used to want to kill myself till i saw a diffrent view
on life.
49. i used to be in a band. guitarest/lead singer/stalkee of 12 year old screaming girls.
50. i drink too much.
51. i live on cheese in a can.
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Comments: i fucked up again.
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Monday, December 2nd, 2002
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| Time: | 4:04 pm. |
| Mood: |  energetic. |
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I decided to visit my old highschool (because im a loser like that) I played frisbee, and how it brought back memories. I used to play frisbee EVERYDAY at lunch and after school. It was great running around like an idiot again. I took my shirit off even though it was fucking freezing and i preformed. Then i got this kid Ryans guitar and sang. It was so fucked up. Oh man i loved it. I was so hot... fire almost.
I wish I could be in highschool again. I was soo much fun and I just wasted it.
Damn those freshmen girls need to eat and put on some clothes. They look like whores. So much make up too. Do they think they are attracting anyone because im sure not attracted.
Fuck. I was talking to some random kid Dave and I was showing him my piercings. This kid was really girly but he was cool. Then he lifted up his shirt and he has his belly button pierced. I've NEVER seen a guy with his bellybutton pierced. Its pretty gay looking to me...but that might just be me.
Then a few kids I knew and some of their friends and me went to the diner. Oh man this girl Tara is so fucking hot. She was the first girl I saw without 10,000lbs of makeup on. Too bad she was annoying as hell.
Then I went outside and disco danced liked there was no tomarrow. MAN im so good. I felt like my old self again, hugging old ladies. Agnes is my favorite, she gave me a dollar. Old ladies rock.
well im out. leave comments hotstuff.
Tom
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Comments: 1 fault - i fucked up again.
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Tuesday, November 19th, 2002
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In my previous entry I mentioned that Becky set me up on a blind date with this girl Jill.
I was nervous as hell, I dont know what this girl would look like since I haven't seen a picture of her. All I knew was she was aposed to wear a red shirt, striped scarf and black jeans, and she had short red hair. And there I was with my bad needed to be cut hair all nervous.
I was afraid she would either be really ugly or really beauitful. And she was... reallly beautiful. I must of seemed so un interesting since I was tired and out of it. She was nice and cute, I got her number and I called her later that night and we talked for about 2 hours.
WE've been talking and hanging out almost everyday since then. Shes a goood kisser. She came and picked me up from work yesterday and my stalkers got jealous. All today they bugged me if that was my girlfriend and that she looks like a bitch.
I finished moveing the things out of my moms house. I dont know what to do with this stuff. I replaced most of my old funiture with my moms things. She had so much random junk, I'll have to get my sister and my cousins to look at this stuff and see if they want anything.
so my sister has my moms ashes, we are deciding on what to do with them. I guess keep them for now. My sisters upset with my brother in law ,Matt. I hope they get a divorce. Even Jill said hes a fag.
Ok i gota go to work.
leave a comment. lets talk.
TOM
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Comments: 3 faults - i fucked up again.
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Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
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I guess I'm going to TRY to update this thing every so often. Now that I have a little more free time, it will give me something to do.
Today went like any other normal day. Woke up, dropped Angie at my friend, Jennies place, went to work. Work was the usual thing. Quiet in the morning. Then fucking hell when everyone comes in. It was nice without the fucking stalker girls.
Mornings are my favorite during work, most of the time it is quiet, except with the fucking half dead old people come in, they start like 10 minute conversations with me.
Today two of my "stalkers" came up to me and actually talked to me for the first time. They are fucking annoying.
They started fussing over my hair. I know my hairs a mess right now. Its long and down to my chin about. They got into saying how I should come over and they should cut my hair. They tried to get into my lack of love life, and they went on and on about how the guys in their school are such "total assholes" and how im a "total sweetie". How can they determine that when they haven't even talked to me than more than 5 minutes. They started talking about other shit but I dont remember.
Becky came and visited me and I guess the girls thought she was my g/f or something, so they went away. Beckys the nicest woman I've ever met. As beautiful as she is, I think shes lonley and thats why she talks to me and visits me. Or she feels bad for me. I always complain to her about how girls hate me.
I gave Becky this picture of Angie and me from her birthday in July. I guess she showed it to one of her friends and she thought I was attractive. Becky starts going on and on about how this girl is beautiful and the sweetiest thing ever. Theres got to be a flaw, like shes blind. So it turns out she wants to set us up.
I hate blind dates. I wish I had more time to get a hair cut. but the date is tonight so fuck. This girl is going to be dissapointed.
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Comments: 3 faults - i fucked up again.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
xlivinginspitex's journal
pissed off.
awake.
envious.
curious.
calm.